Thursday, February 26, 2009

Trapped Under Ice

The recent heat wave here in Minnesota seems to have melted a few brains, along with a few inches of snow. Most of us Northern Folk know better than to pack away our parkas and break out the shorts after a brief February thaw, but morons and wishful thinkers abound in these parts. Granted, referring to a couple of degrees above freezing as a “heat wave” might sound crazy to some people. Such as those who don’t own long underwear and think ice fishing involves fetching a cube from their margarita. But frankly, the opinions of those who refuse to drive when the first snowflake falls don’t count for much around here. Although in fairness, many in the upper Midwest would love to see the snow disappear after the spirit of Christmas fades.

Truth is, we all suffer from memory loss as we migrate from season to season. In the spring, we run around half naked when the temperature reaches 50°F. Then we grumble in disbelief as we pull on sweaters and hats in the fall, when the mercury drops to the same level. You can’t blame us though right? Mother Nature tends to get a little bipolar this time of year.

It took me a long time, decades of personal struggle and mental kung fu, to finally appreciate our local climate (as noted in a previous post, Rain or Shine). But this year my tolerance has evaporated along with the moisture in our dry frigid air. Winter was hard enough to endure when I was healthy. Now my muscles seize up with the first blast of wind as I roll out the door. The effort required to bundle me up, the hassle of traversing ice-encrusted parking lots, and the stress of navigating a minefield of coughing and runny-nosed yokels, often leads to exhaustion. I am quickly becoming a hermit, not leaving the house for up to a week sometimes. In short, I am learning to hate winter again.

Staying inside is not all bad of course. It’s allowed me to read more books, watch more movies, play more board games with friends, and stare at more walls. When I finally go outside, it can be a refreshing, exhilarating, and temporarily blinding change. But I am more than ready for spring. My cabin fever is growing, and I need some serious vitamin D. So hopefully that stupid groundhog was wrong this year, and Mother Nature will stop teasing us soon. In fact, my sources tell me it’s going to be sunny and 40°F today. Speedo suit and flip-flops here I come!

Wait a second…Scratch that…Now it’s snowing profusely…Maybe just the flip-flops then…


Nikki said...

Amen, Scott! My garage door is frozen shut. I think I will stay home and try the version of ice fishing you reference :)

Anonymous said...

worth the wait for your newest entry.

i wish i could send a few warming california rays your way. we could spare some of our 80 plus degrees, and still be comfortable....if you take some of our summer smog, i'll make sure to work something out.

Kathy said...

I could not wait to read your latest story and see updates of your beautiful girls! I am a former Patient Services Nurse and I pray for you and your family, I truly do. Thanks for inspiring so many people. You and your wife give hope to so many others.